Raveno

in the past, and lately i've been having issues with TB, i'm not diagnosed schizophrenia, and I don't think I have it..but I am paranoid, (hyperviligant?)

its weird tho, cuz what I'm going through is like the conversations of people, is an interpretation of whats going through my head, or what has been interpreted in the past..

oddly though, it triggers when I smoke weed, or does it expand my awareness?
and a biggie, the people are accurate! like the neighbors, my parents sleeping, like I hesitated grabbing the melatonin bottle, and I heard my dad say 'no, *claps two times' ...now I thought he was sleeping? another thing why are all these people OBSESSED with making fun of me/reading my mind, do'nt they have a life? don't they have something else to put their attention to?

also my dad snores, and mostly his breathing is synchronized with mine, what is with people being syncrhonized? is it they predict it? or just something that happens by chance??

also something weird, last night I had a dream repeat three times, same dream everybody was after me, including my parents, they were relentless in trying to catch me..but only after I 'realize' that people reading minds is normal and I accept it, and I deny it, they start chasing and trying to kill me..

in one of them my dad succeeds with killing me

I know this isn't real..but it SEEMs real, its so scary having your thoughts being emitted to everybody

KJ77

i had a weird dream a couple nights ago. i dreamed i was drunk, but that i was dying and i knew i was dying and the feeling of dying felt drunk....it seemed so real too...but remember dreams cant hurt you

futurama

Once I dreamed that the Dalai Lama was telling me that everything was going to be OK. Then I dreamed that I woke up and told people about the dream. Three times I dreamed that in a row before I actually woke up. So when I really woke up, I had to make sure. Weird.

As for the thought broadcasting, don't worry. Your head is private. People can't hear your thoughts. If weed makes you feel more telepathic, maybe you should stop smoking it for a while. Just so you feel calmer.

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I have temporal lobe epilepsy and PTSD. Fun, fun, fun!

Raveno

^I love your avatar! cracks me up

yeah I know that are thoughts are private...but I just have intrusive thoughts, and I get insecure about what people may say something that relates to me, then I'll quickly think they could be saying something that I could have thinking at the moment...kinda like they are me, and 'they' are just talkingl, ya know?

I know its crazy, its just a bad habit I'm trying to get rid of

Raveno

whoa, just now when I was outside smoking, I was listening to my mp3 player, and I stopped because I thought I heard somebody. and I heard the tv inside, and I listened to it, the people were like a commentary and it was making fun of me, I listened to it for awhile.

example, I looked at a cat, it said 'there's a cat' I looked at the bikes, 'yep those are bikes'.....and sooo sooo much more...the scary thing is, its accurate!! while I was listening I pretty much summed up my whole life, it was some how being broadcasted on a tv show, and everything that I do/remember was televised live

I thought about a bunch of memories and applying it..it made sense

but i'm good tho bc I found out the show was called squidbillies..haha

when I busted in to see the show for my self it went to commercials
oh and when I went to my room, my tv was at the same channel as the one I was hearing, and I didn't pay any attention to at the time, but I saw this blue shirt character staring at a tv of a tv of him self..what?
i'm going to go back out and see if it happens again

lol I know i'm trippin I gotta

I just remembered a crucial part, I was trying to rationalize that it couldln't be possible..and then when I reminded my self I was hyperviligent, the guy on the tv goes hyperviligent, and also I remember him asking him self if he is on tv..and that i'm outside, listening to the tv *paraphrased ...and when I can't understand the babble, is what i'm too ignorant to comprehend...thats why when I go and watch a movie that I haven't seen for a long time I understand more of it..oh and last night I was really famous, like everybody watched the show..

sorry for the rants

just went to the festival, and yep everybody is in my head, everybody knows what to do, what triggers me, everything that I looked at somebody either pointed it out, or made a judgement, or they'll say whats in my head exactly, I feel like its a dream, and that I'm already sent to hell, here..people, imitate me, it really feels like the movie truman show, including thoughts..when in public, I try not to show anything what my intrusive thoughts bring me..but I let them out somehow..and I usually look at things so that I hope that they won't think i'm thinking about them..then I quickly look and panic...

with me avoiding to see what people are doing, I miss out on most of the small things that people show through body language..and when I'm just open eyed just viewing whats going on..wow its like everybody knows everything about my awareness...the idea of me being famous is growing

*plus I have a cleft palate, and I have what I call two-face..(the 'sounds'/'voices' helped me type this out..so it seems? )
and maybe thats a reason when I'm in public and people look a little weird, body language? wow, if I forget what word to type next, i'll freaking hear it

Danage

I used to get connections from the radio and TV, as though they were talking about me during my first psychotic episode, so you wouldn't be the only one to experience this. The connections were never real, looking back.