futurama

I have been stalked, sexually assaulted, raped and abused by my violent ex-husband, and now I have PTSD and I am hypervigilant and just...very alert.

I am also just not at all interested in letting another man into my life. I don't want to sound sexist, but that's the way I feel. I have been through a lot, and I just don't think I could do that. I am not a lesbian now, I'm just single. Even the thought, when people ask me about dating, makes me tense.

He wasn't the first man to make me feel this way. That's another story.

I left him 8 years ago and I am still this way. I am still constantly alert. I still have nightmares. I can't have the windows open. it's so awful.

I went to a counselor. They sent me to a man who did not understand what I went through. Totally useless.

As a survivor of sexual assalut and stalking, can I ever hope to relax and recover? Or am I just thi way, a different person now? I feel like he has changed me forever and he just gets to live like nothing happened.

He is the father of my kids, so occasionally, once in a while, out of the blue, he calls, and when I hear his voice I get physically ill.

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I have temporal lobe epilepsy and PTSD. Fun, fun, fun!

KJ77

sorry to hear it, he sounds like a real jerk! you have to realize not all guys are like this and some will actually treat you right if you look in the right places

have you ever went to the cops or anything about this?

*Pixie*

*hugs*
I think it will always be a part of you, but through time I think you could acsept that its in the past & move on,..
Have you thought of getting a differant counselor? Sorry the last one didnt understand, but i'm sure there are some out there who will.

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You'd think it would get easier over time.. But really reality just settles in..

futurama

On some level I know that not all guys are that way.
I have been through enough, though, that I don't feel safe alone with a man.

The cops did get involved. I had restraining orders against my ex and he violated one and went to jail.

He still sometimes calls when the kids are at school and says he wants to talk to them. I tell him that since it's noon, they're at school. I know he must be calling because he wants to talk to me.

Recently when he did this, he told me that he thinks about me constantly and how I ruined his life when I left him. He went on and on about how his life is over because of me.

This was very frightening for me because he always said that if I ever left him he'd kill me, and if he couldn't find me, my mom. When he calls me sounding suicidal and saying that he is still constantly obsessing over me after 8 years, it is very frightening for me.

I used to think that if he just found someone else, my worries would be over. That's not the case, though.

I have complete legal and physical custody of the kids. I don't think I could get another restrining order just because he calls me. I doubt it.

He hasn't seen the kids in 4 years, though, so i don't think he could realy argue that I'm stopping him from seeing them.

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I have temporal lobe epilepsy and PTSD. Fun, fun, fun!

*Pixie*

If the calls are upsetting you and scaring you maybe you could get his number blocked or just hang up when he calls?
I'm sorry he still bothers you.

__________________
You'd think it would get easier over time.. But really reality just settles in..